Sonnet contest results!

The Sonnet Contest is over, and the results are in. I received a total of nineteen entries. Let me say that picking just three winners out of these nineteen was a challenging task. Y'all obviously put a lot of thought into this, and I was forced to make some hard choices. In particular, I was impressed with the number of entrants who said that English was not their native tongue. Entering a poetry contest in a second language is a move that requires, ahem, cojones.


(In the future, I'll try to avoid using "tongue" and "cojones" in the same paragraph - I promise.)


So, here we go: the winners. And if you entered but your poem doesn't appear below, just remember, you still got the greatest gift of all: the brief and derisive attention of the Dark Titan.




HONORABLE MENTION


As I was reading through the entries, this sonnet caught my eye at once for its spot-on perfect meter and lyrical language. Thought it didn't quite have that little je ne sais quoi it needed to make it to the top three, it flows so well and demonstrates such intelligent word choices that I had to at least give it a mention.


Of Titan’s Fall
by Arallion



With steady care, his hand swept chaos smooth,
Yet still resurgent evil fostered strife,
And flames of torment wreathed his heart with truth:
Order herself maintained this farce of life.
The Champion of Titans marked his course,
His weapon cracked in twain and forged anew
The Titans’ worlds fell ‘neath demonic force,
Chaotic flaming bronze their dying view.
Yet Azeroth, with lissome tempting wiles
Did thrice withstand corruption in her heart
Rebuffing banal chaos she beguiles
With bright caprice to balance order’s art.
O Sargeras! Tho powerful you reign
In shades of grey do Titans’ works remain.




THIRD PLACE


This one is a sad, contemplative piece that uses simple language to evoke thoughtful images. Multiple readings may be necessary to get the full effect.


Night before the last dawn
by Kristof


A long day it was, even stars seems languid,
As they glimmer, like mourning candle-light.
Mourning the fallen and the living alike:
They know, if he arrives, all will be ended.


No, don't fear now, friend, you shall be safe tonight.
He creases the nether, he knits his eyebrows,
As he is forced to hear the scream of the souls.
Dreams, and memories, even titans cannot fight.


Tomorrow, he will travel the space again.
When he arrives, you will be the one to blame,
If your life is empty, if you live it in vain


Just lie down and trust, the Universe is vast,
Don't crease your blanket, don't look into your past.
I wish you a nice dream. This might be your last.




SECOND PLACE


This sonnet is lively, with complex rhythms and a crisp volta. It also demonstrates a working knowledge of classical mythology, which is just too rare these days.


The Highest Art
by Craig



I was about to challenge You to a duel,
Lord Sargeras, a little competition
full of planetary demolition,
screaming, and sundered stars, with just one rule:
poetry would have been our only tool
of mass destruction, for the immolation
ignited by the pen wipes out creation
more surely than the sword, so I learned at school.



Then I recalled those who have challenged gods
and what became of them: turned into birds
or dolphins or a spider, or torn apart
by drunken women or a hunter’s dogs.
Not wanting such an end from impious words,
I realized that silence is the highest art.




FIRST PLACE


The winning sonnet isn't especially artistic, lyrical, or evocative, but it is by far the funniest entry I received. And really, amusing the Dark Titan - isn't that what it's all about? Yes. Yes it is.


(Untitled)
by Scott


An idyllic world with fields of flowers strewn
Peacefulness aside, it shan't be spared
Its mantle from its very core is hewn
You disagree? Your judgement is impaired.
He does it not to punish us for sins,
Nor does he do it to acquire riches;,
He doesn't even do it for the grins -
He does it just because it's *there*, bitches.
Some will try to flee his brand of fun
By offering to serve as his left hand,
But when he says "I DEFET EVERONE!!!1!!11"
What part of that do you not understand?
You think he'll let you live? He won't.
"EVERONE" means we all get pwnt.


Well, that's that. Congratulations to the winners! Each of you will be receiving something from the store. I'll be sending you an e-mail shortly to talk about the details of your prizes.


Thanks to everyone who participated!

Sonnet contest closed

I trust everyone enjoyed Opposite Day? My Google Follower count actually dropped by one yesterday, so apparently someone out there was not in love with the New Me. Well, not to worry. The planet-destroying titan you all know and hate isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Anyway, the Sonnet Contest is officially closed. Thanks to everyone who entered! The winners will be announced Thursday.

Sonnet contest!

Have you found yourself thinking, "Gee! I sure would love to have a Spider Pride T-shirt or one of the other fine items on the Coffee With Sargeras store, but I can't afford any of it because it's all so absurdly overpriced?"

Have you further opined, "I wish I could procure such merchandise for myself, for free, via some sort of ridiculous contest that submits my hard work to the arbitrary whims of someone I've never met?"

Well, hypothetical reader, your improbable wishes have finally come true! I hereby announce the first ever (and possibly last ever) Coffee With Sargeras Sonnet Contest!

So what exactly can I win?

First place - you get your choice of any single item from the store, FREE.
Second place - you get your choice of any single item from the store, other than a shirt, FREE.
Third place - you get your choice of a button or a magnet from the store, FREE.

I will of course cover the shipping charge as well. Free actually does mean free.

I guess I have to write, like, a sonnet or something?

Yes. To enter the contest, you must write a sonnet about me (Sargeras) and e-mail it to me.

All right, what are the rules?

OFFICIAL CONTEST RULES

1. You must write your own sonnet (no plagiarism).
2. The sonnet must be in English. I'm not going to disqualify you if you include a phrase from Latin or something, but don't expect to win if you write 14 lines of masterful poetry in Tagalog.
3. The sonnet must be about me (Sargeras).
4. Limit one sonnet per person. Any new sonnets you send me after the first one will be ignored.
5. Once you've submitted your sonnet, no revisions are allowed.
6. The sonnet must be submitted via e-mail. Submissions via Facebook message, blog comment, or anything else other than e-mail will be ignored.
7. All entries must be submitted on or before June 15, 2009.
8. Include the phrase "Sonnet contest entry" or something similar in the subject line.

Do I have to be a regular blog reader to enter?

Of course not. How would I know if you weren't, anyway?

I'm not from the United States. Can I still enter?

Yes. As long as you live somewhere that Zazzle ships to (which is almost everywhere in the world), you can enter. If you live somewhere Zazzle doesn't ship to, then you can still enter, but, uh, you won't get a prize.

(Please note, the list I linked to above is very stupidly arranged, in that it is mostly but not totally in alphabetical order. If you don't see your country right away, do a search on the page.)

Does the sonnet have to be funny? Do I have to write about how awesome you are?

No and no. There are no restrictions on content or style beyond the simple rule that it must be a sonnet about Sargeras, the Dark Titan. Be creative.

How picky are you going to be about the definition of "sonnet?"

I'm not going to disqualify you for having an extra syllable somewhere, or for not using a proper volta. Experimentation with the traditional idea of a sonnet is permitted within reason, but the further you stray from the usual definition of sonnet, the less likely it is I'm going to allow it. Basically, don't write a limerick, is what I'm asking for here.

How are you going to judge the entries?

I'm just going to pick the ones I like best. I don't have a particular set of criteria I plan on using.

Isn't that inherently arbitrary and biased?

Yes.

Any advice on writing a winning sonnet?

Be different. The first idea you have is likely the first idea everyone else will have, too, so think outside the box. That said, don't come up with something so bizarre that it's just stupid.

I'm also a sucker for technical excellence. Meaning, if you get your rhyme and meter dead solid perfect, I'm somewhat more inclined to overlook other flaws.

Are you going to post the winning sonnets on the blog?

Yes. If you're not comfortable with your sonnet being displayed on the blog, you probably shouldn't enter.

I have another question that you didn't answer!

Well, just ask!

That June 15 deadline will come sooner than you think, so get started now. Best of luck! >>}8^O